God is in Control

I am going on my third week with the girls and to be honest it's harder than I thought it would be to live here.  The director was right in the beginning to warn me about how difficult they are, but I thought I'd seen and experienced it all and was ready. 

The deal is that I came here with a passionate heart to serve,  to love,  to bless, and to share the Gospel with them, but as time went on I started losing that desire. It had to do with just the whole atmosphere in the apartment; the constant yelling, cigarette smell, selfishness and evilness in the air. The girls are so misbehaved that the caregivers have lost all hope in them. They say it’s useless to try to help them, they won’t change. I guess I started believing that too. 

I have not yet given them their presents because the caregivers believe they  don't deserve them… So I’m saving it for when they start to behave better or for New Years.

Even though the girls respect me, I can’t stand how they act towards the caregivers. They practically spit in their faces and couldn't care less about what they have to say.  It’s hard to love them and want to help them because they are SO ungrateful and you feel that anything and everything you do is worthless to them.

As you can see, I had a rough patch last week with my emotions towards the girls. But like usual God came to the rescue with the scripture. He reminded me that I must keep my faith IN HIM strong...“If your faith is not strong, you will not have strength enough to last” Isaiah 7:9b With God all things are possible; I must believe in what HE can do, NOT in what I can do. 

"You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." Mathew 17:20

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.seek his will in all you do,and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

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Jesus has me here for a reason and I mustn't lose sight of that for a second. He specifically placed me to work with these girls… I was originally going to come to Russia during the summer (these girls weren't here) but due to my Russian passport renewal process, I couldn't.  Then I requested to work with the little kids, but there was no room there. The administration here told me that this group of girls is the hardest they have ever had…God made it obvious that He wants me here, at this time, with these girls.  

I am here doing His work… planting seeds… It is not my job to change them… God is in control.   If I don’t see change in them by the time I leave, it’s okay for I know I have not failed God. He has a plan and I am just one of His instruments.  I thank God for this mission because I am growing closer to Him  and learning a lot more about myself.

I do love these girls!!!!  God has restored in me the desire  to serve,  to love,  to bless, and to share the Gospel with them.

THREE GIRLS ACCEPTED THE LORD AS THEIR LORD AND SAVIOR. 

Dina, Polina and Katya... 

Please keep them in yours prayers as they begin their  new life with Jesus:)